Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Writer's Block Wednesday: Today we say RIP to all those crazy Ros theories...

WARNING:
This blog entry contains spoilers up through episode 6 of Game of Thrones season 3, as well as for all five published Song of Ice & Fire books. 

Such a sad week, this...because with this week's episode of Game of Thrones, all those theories about Ros - from the seemingly plausible to the outright ridiculous - have died a violent death along with her character.

Therefore...

...Now it's time to say goodbye...
...to all those insane theories...
...R-O-S...
...T-H-E...
...W-H-O-R-E... 

(yeah, I went there. whatever.)


I mean, where do I even begin? I suppose with the one and only Ros theory that turned out to be at least partly true - that she was a replacement for Chataya/Alayaya. While she didn't help Tyrion sneak around and visit Shae, therefore giving Cersei little reason to bother with her in the first place, Ros was taken captive by Cersei and beaten when Tyrion's big sis assumed that this Northern whore was the Imp's favorite. And while we don't know whether Chataya and Alayaya will play a big part in the Song of Ice & Fire series, we at least know that they are still alive...while Ros is, decidedly, not.


It wasn't hard to assume that Ros wasn't just some whore who would eventually go away, because, um, she never went away. Another small-time theory I've seen around is that Ros would somehow end up in the hands of Qyburn, as punishment for who-knows-what. But of course, Qyburn hasn't made it to King's Landing yet, and Ros is no longer with us. So there goes that one.

Now, after Ros's little conversation with Shae earlier this season, many people thought that perhaps she was a replacement for Ser Dontos, who we haven't seen since episode one of Season Two. Works for Littlefinger? Check. Is disposable? Check. Is concerned about Sansa? Apparently, check.


Well, Ros death was one by crossbow, but the timing forces us to rule her out as a Dontos replacement, I suppose.

About the same time I first heard the Ros-as-Dontos theory, I came across a comment on Reddit in which someone thought that perhaps Sansa, instead of taking on the name Alayne, would call herself Ros (possibly at Littlefinger's behest). Exchange one red-headed companion for another, and all that, right?

Well, the problem with that is the age difference and, err, general looks of Ros and Sansa. The same reasons that the big Ros theory (theories?) wouldn't logically work...though I myself had concerns that D&D, in all their book-changing insanity, would force on us.

That being, the Ros-as-Jeyne Pool-as-Arya or Sansa theory.


Why did it make some - albeit very small - semblance of sense? Well, while it would be extremely difficult to convince people that Ros was Arya (different hair color, twice her age, blah blah blah), she was the only northern girl who went to King's Landing and actually saw screen time - and a lot of it - while there. Of course, while Ros being used as Sansa makes a tiny modicum of sense in the looks department (only slightly closer in age, but hey, red hair!), unfortunately by the time any fake Stark girl made her way to Winterfell Sansa would already be married to Tyrion and wanted for questioning (...torture...death...) in regards to the Purple Wedding.

Though, ya know, Theon had a sort of relationship with her, which added a bit more logic to this theory.

But now here we are, Ros-less, and while I am a bit sad to bid goodbye to all of the above theories - as realistic and/or crazy as they seem - I am sure as hell relieved that last one can never come to pass.


However...having to let go of all those theories means that never again will we have the same hilarious discussions at another Ice & Fire Con.

What discussions, you ask? Why, the ones where we tried to justify why Ros ever existed in the first place.

(And please, spare me the comments about how she existed as a catch-all for the whores and/or servants of King's Landing, or that she existed so we could see more of Littlefinger's actions, blah blah blah etc. etc. I know all of that, and this post is not meant to be serious. Moving on...)

So without further ado, our Ice & Fire Con Ros theories (not saying we came up with these, only that we discussed them!) were as follows:

- Ros and Sansa are the same faceless [wo]man.
- Ros is Jaqen H'gar (and therefore also Syrio Forel).
- Ros is Benjen Stark (and therefore also Daario).
- Ros is Azor Ahai. (I mean, "bleeding red star"? And Ros has red hair? It's obvious!)
- ROS IS A SECRET TARG BECAUSE EVERYONE IS A SECRET TARG BUT IF SHE'S A SECRET TARG SHE'S ALSO ONE OF THE THREE HEADS OF THE DRAGON BECAUSE REASONS.

...and the sad thing is, I'm pretty sure that there were even more crazy Ros theories than those, I simply can't recall all of them at this moment in time ;)

But hey, maybe her death isn't for realsies. After all, the red god could demand a return. They could have dressed up some other girl to look like Ros before handing her over to Joffrey. Or - my personal favorite theory - she could have warged into one of Tommen's kittens a la my Balerion the Cat theory.

She is, after all, a Northerner...who's to say they're not all wargs?


(Oh, right, GRRM. Moving on...again...) Pin It

1 comment:

  1. I think she responded to the casting call for a redhead and someone decided that she was too hot to not be in the show (remember all of her naked scenes) but she's too old to be Sansa and too young to be Catelyn. So they made a part for her... that involved her being naked... a lot.

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