Thursday, October 8, 2015

Sometimes "Running Late" Isn't Just "Rude and Selfish"

Once in a while I find something to rant about, so I created a fun picture to include in these word-vomit posts ;)


Yes, my Microsoft Paint skills are hella impressive. Now without further ado...

Back in July a man named Greg Savage (who is some big-name recruiter - I'd heard of one of his companies, but not of the man himself) wrote a blog entry about how anyone who is late on a regular basis, be it for work or appointments or outings with friends, is "rude and selfish". Now, I'm going to hope that he takes into account things like someone leaving in plenty of time to arrive early, running into unexpected traffic, and being late...even though I kind of gather that he doesn't believe in such things as unexpected traffic or, you know, emergencies in general. He claims that he's only talking about people who are habitually late, but the examples he gives seem - for the most part - to feature people who kept him waiting just one time before he cut them off.

As someone who was not only painfully shy as a child but who also grew up with parents who were perpetually late, the minute I had a choice in the matter (read: once I had my own transportation) I resolved to always be, if not early, than at least on time. And I stuck with that for my latter teenage years, throughout college, and for most of my adult life. Sure, now and then I was late. No one is perfect. (Well, except, apparently, Greg Savage.) But I honestly can't recall ever being late for work all those years, and if I was late for other things it was due to extenuating circumstances.

And then the past three years happened. As I got dragged further and further down into the rabbithole of depression and anxiety that has dominated my existence essentially since mid-2012, being on time became nearly impossible. I'm not saying it never happens, but I'll be honest - it's rare. And being early? Ha! That's a thing of the past, at least for right now. But I'm not just being "rude and selfish". I'm struggling to get out of bed, or to leave my house, or sometimes I'm even sitting in my car outside my house or in a parking lot somewhere just trying to convince myself that I can do it, I can be at work or at the doctor's office or just generally out in public.

Again, I wasn't always like this. And I *dream* of a time when I'll be my old self and it won't be such a struggle to live life. When my alarm will go off and I'll get up right away and go about my business like a 'normal' person, rather than hitting the sleep button five times while I lay there trying to convince myself that getting out of bed is actually a thing that I have to do if I want to, you know, support myself and stuff. I never used to use that sleep button. In fact I practically loathed people who did (well, living/sleeping with them, anyway). And yeah, sometimes certain people are just lazy about waking up, just like sometimes certain people are just lazy about getting places on time. But sometimes it's not a character flaw - sometimes it's a chemical imbalance telling that person that they're worthless and life is shit and there's just no point.

I applaud others who suffer through this, because I know how difficult it is. I applaud them for arriving wherever they need to be at whatever time they get there because THEY GOT THERE, DAMMIT. And sometimes they don't, or can't, just like sometimes I don't, or can't.

I'd really like to believe that Savage doesn't actually think that every single person who is late on a regular basis is inherently flawed, but the fact that he makes the case that doctors shouldn't ever be late (because you know, heaven forbid there be emergencies in doctors' offices that cause later appointments to get pushed back) leads me to believe that he simply thinks that he and his time are more important than anything else, or anyone else's well being.

Yup, some people who are perpetually late are simply rude and selfish, and maybe Savage has only ever experienced those types of people (though again, based on his examples, I doubt that). But guess what, kids: generalizations are generally bad, and for the most part making them and then announcing them as the end-all and be-all makes you look like an ass.

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